Since last week’s SCOTUS decisions, our weddings section has exploded with hits, and our readers have expressed enthusiasm about exercising some of their new marriage rights. So, we couldn’t think of a more perfect time to interview the masterminds behind Fourteen, a clothing line of formal and wedding suit separates specially tailored for the lesbian, queer, and trans community.  Fourteen founder Bernadette Coveney Smith and designer Marialexandra Garcia gave us the inside scoop behind the brand’s name, their inspiration, and how they troubleshoot formalwear fit issues for our community.

dapperQ: How did you come up with the name Fourteen?

Bernadette: I’m a wedding planner (for 9+ years) and my business is called 14 Stories, after the 14 plaintiffs in the case which legalized gay marriage in Massachusetts.  14 is also the constitutional amendment with the Equal Protection Clause which was used to overturn DOMA!

dapperQ: Can you tell me a bit about the history and evolution of Fourteen?

Bernadette: Finding suits and tuxes has been a big challenge for my queer brides and bridegrooms over the years.  When it came time for my own wedding to Jen, I faced that challenge personally.  I knew this was a great business idea, but I also knew nothing about fashion or the clothing industry.  One day, a colleague of mine tweeted me an introduction to fashion designer Marialexandra Garcia who had the same idea, but the opposite skill set.  She brings the designs and manufacturing expertise and I bring the LGBTQ expertise. Once we met in person and decided to create a company, she interviewed many of my former clients who wore suits, and then started to sketch designs.  Those sketches were turned into muslin samples and those samples were fitted on over a dozen queer models of various sizes, shapes, gender identities and expressions.  The result is that each suit separate we sell is available in a standard fit and a boy fit in sizes 0-22. Our online store launched at the end of November 2012, and we’ll soon be moving into the world of casual wear, underwear and swimwear.

dapperQ: How would you describe the Fourteen aesthetic?

Marialexandra:  I attempted to translate the visual aesthetics and mood of Hollywood legend Marlene Dietrich with the comfort and familiarity of Ellen Degeneres. Fourteen has a classic spin on forward fashion.

dapperQ: Who or what inspires your designs?

Bernadette: I design with one particular person in mind; the one who feels comfortable in their own skin, knows who they are and feels proud of it, but can’t find the clothing that says the same about them. The person who thinks they don’t have “a style,” when in reality they don’t lack style, they lack the selection that really speaks to them. It’s not what traditional retailers see as feminine or masculine, it’s that particular piece of clothing that fits just right and speaks its own language and its own gender.

Need something for the honeymoon? No sweat! Fourteen’s gotcha covered in that department too.

dapperQ: Many of our readers have problems finding masculine clothes that fit them properly. How is Fourteen addressing this issue?

Bernadette: We’ve spent a good part of almost 2 years studying every detail, every measurement, and we’ve come up with our own measurements and our own fit charts. Testing samples on a very diverse group of people, from butch to queer, to FtoM and more, we’ve listened very closely to concerns, comments, wants and needs. The basic details were what we first took care of, arm length, torso length, armhole sizes, neck width, and the age old problem, the right amount of space for breasts. Then we added little details, the amount of pockets in jackets and vests, the depth of the pockets, the fit on the pants for the person with wider hips.  We’ve come up with a wide range of pieces of clothing that can be mixed and matched to reach a more personal sense of style. Of course, the idea is to keep adding pieces so the selection and combinations are endless.

dapperQ: Do you see queer fashion, especially as it pertains to weddings, as being different from more normative, mainstream fashion? If so, how?

Bernadette: As a designer I see queer fashion as very progressive, very modern fashion, almost sometimes ahead of the mainstream, but with so many old fashion elements mixed in; keeping it still down to earth and so wearable. Queer fashion for weddings is more daring, like taking androgynous clothes and giving it a new world feel, elegant but unapologetic.

dapperQ: Tell us a bit about yourself.

Bernadette: I am 36 and married with a toddler boy.  I live in NYC.  And my mission in life is to change the worldwide wedding industry to be more inclusive of the diverse LGBTQ community.  I do this through the weddings I plan through my company 14 Stories, the many trainings and speeches I provide to wedding professionals through the Gay Wedding Institute, and now through Fourteen.  I feel very much defined by my chosen career, though I also love to travel, read and make fun cocktails.
 
Fourteen’s Stats
Website
Blog
Facebook
Twitter
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Pinterest

Hetero-normative and gender binary expectations. Interesting when and how they are applied. When two gay men get married, no one questions their style choices if they both choose to wear a suit. (Although, they certainly face other isms borne out of said expectations.) But, if two individuals who we presume to be women get married, then the rules change a bit: Folks want to know who in the couple is going to wear the dress, and who is going to wear the suit.

But, not here at dapperQ. We advocate wearing what you want and being who you are. And, if you’re the dapper type, we’re here to help you achieve your style goals. One way we do that is by featuring real-world models who have impeccable style. I just so happened to get a submission last week from Mellina and Sarah, who both wore suits at their wedding and looked dashing in their ensembles. Here’s a bit more about them:

Sarah and Mellina met in Seattle, WA after they both moved across the country for a fresh start. They saw the exact opposite in each other, and that’s what made the magic happen. They fell in love over wine, great food, and video games. After seven years together, they finally were able to celebrate their love with marriage equality! They look forward to years of cooking for friends and family, having kids and watching 3-D movies.

Mellina (left) and Sarah (right)

Suits from Nordstrom Men’s Shop, downtown Seattle
Photography by Hannah Ludlow

Fiances Shana and Becca have an irresistible, and compatible, classic dapper style that incorporates hip, modern touches. (Think bow-ties and dangling pearls meets nose ring and lip piercing.)

Shana (left) and Becca (right)

But, their clothes aren’t the only thing that’s compatible. Here’s a bit more about their love story:

Becca and Shana met through mutual friend network. The fact that they hadn’t met earlier was a little weird, but neither was ready, and finally they were…

Becca had needed to go out and her best friend took her to a random house party.  At the party Becca noticed a female (DJ. Becca was a DJ back in California and a female DJ usually catches Shana’s eye.) Shana had a smile that Becca couldn’t resist, and a confidence that Becca had never experienced.

Photo by Rebecca Lawrence Photography

Becca was intrigued from the moment Shana walked up to her and introduced herself. Instantly they connected over music, DJing, dancing,  life stories and their shared philosophies regarding social justice.

Photo by Rebecca Lawrence Photography

A year and a half later, Becca asked Shana to marry her in the middle of a classic March snow blizzard on a bridge overlooking the Mississippi River at 6 in the morning. It didn’t go as planned, but it makes for one hell of a funny story.

Photo by Rebecca Lawrence Photography

June 1, 2014 is the big day… but its all about the journey and choosing each other every single day.

This is our first post in dapperQ’s Wedding Week, where we feature dapper weddings and answer all of your burning wedding questions.

A reader asks:

“While I applaud dapperQ for breaking gender binary wedding expectations (for example, women wear dresses, men wear suits), I find the actual wedding attire that you feature to be very gender binary (for example, feminine presenting people wear dresses, masculine presenting people wear suits.) I gather these traditional styles work for many of your readers. But, I’m planning my wedding and cannot seem to find much about androgynous wedding attire. I definitely do NOT wear dresses, high heels, long hair, and makeup. However, I do NOT dress like, nor do I want to be mistaken for, your average American cis-male. I am not going to wear ties, suspenders, boxy suits, and cummerbunds. My style is more androgynous or “tomboy.” Do you have any suggestions? I want to look as impeccable as my femme partner!”

Providing individualized wedding attire recommendations is a bit challenging without knowing the general theme of the wedding (colors, setting, flowers, etc.), the level of formality (black-tie, casual, etc.), location (outdoor, indoor, beach, ballroom, city, country, etc.), season (winter, summer, etc.), and your personal style (minimalist androgyny, street goth androgyny, etc.) But, I want to let you know that I do hear your concerns and will do my best to at least get you thinking outside the binary box. Note that some of the models have long hair and/or are wearing heels and makeup; but you can definitely rock these looks sans makeup with shorter hair and flat shoes.

Go Slim, Not Boxy

*Menswear suits can tend to look boxy, especially classic American suits. While European cuts are slimmer, *menswear jackets are made to CYA (cover your a**), which can make short legs look even shorter, leading to that boxy look you’re trying to avoid. Try slim cut suits paired with *womenswear jackets, which are cut to hit the waist to give the illusion of a longer, slimmer, rather than boxy, leg.

Via ASOS Fashion Finder

Via Indigo Jones

Image via Tumblr

Go Slouchy/Relaxed, Not Boxy

If you’re not into slim fit, try a slouchy fit. Now, what’s the difference between boxy and slouchy? Depends on who you ask. Some bloggers see slouchy and boxy as one in the same and discourage both. I disagree. When I think of boxy, this is what comes to mind:

Via GQ

When I think of slouchy, I think “relaxed” and this is what comes to mind:

Via Pinterest

Via The Evolving Closet

Via Style.com

Now Tie It All Together with Color, Bling, Florals, Lace, and Metallics

What is so exciting right now about wedding attire is that there has been a trend towards more casual and creative styles. Gone are the days where we are expected to rock silk cummerbunds. Think about all of the logistics I mentioned above (theme, location, season, venue, etc.) and add colors and textures accordingly:

Navy blue, cream, and burgundy red break up the black and white cater-waiter look. Via Lyst

Lightweight linen is perfect for a casual summer wedding. Via Tumblr

Androgynous model Harmony Boucher and her wife blew minds when they wed in high fashion street goth attire. Add a little something unexpected, like these tuxedo sequined leggings,  and you too can break the mold. Via French Connection

Metallic bling blazer? Check! Slim cut pants? Check! Oxford shoes? Check! But, the icing on the cake: a tie-neck blouse for those who are not down with traditional neckties and bow-ties. Via Neiman Marcus

Perfect for a more formal wedding. Via A and O

Lace and pearls add a bit of “classic” wedding style. The slouchy cut adds a bit of androgyny. Via Neiman Marcus

Your can pair this metallic leather trimmed jacket with almost every color and it can be styled masculine, feminine, and everywhere in between. Via Lyst

Add a little color POP! in rich velvet for a wedding suit jacket that will turn as many heads as any femme ensemble. Image via Dsquared2

Rebelling against the gender binary? Then pair masculine touches with florals. Via Style.com

This is our second post in dapperQ’s Wedding Week, where we feature dapper weddings and answer all of your burning wedding questions. Feature written by Shae Archer.

Designer Shae Archer and student Aliya Valentine created the DIY wedding of their dreams. Only together three years, newly active in their community, and both creators of their respective blogs, Boi Meets Play and Les Femmes, it was important for Shae and Aliya to solidify their commitment to each other in front of their family and friends. After all, family and community are some of the key values that drew them together in the first place.

The wedding was inspired by Shae’s love of literature and Aliya’s love of the whimsical, which spawned the theme of A Midsummer Night’s Dream.  The venue was close to home, literally, as Aliya’s aunt graciously offered her gorgeous home as the site of the wedding. It was perfect for the couple as they wanted a place with familial roots that exuded warmth and love. The wedding also centered on honoring the strong women in their lives; their mothers, sisters, and Aliya’s grandmother. From the decor, to the ceremony, to the dances, their pride of these women shone through. Another special aspect was having Cole B. Cole act as officiator of their wedding. Both Shae and Aliya credit much of their success as a couple to the transformative experience Shae underwent during the Brown Boi retreat, and Cole’s continual efforts to act as mentor and support system for the couple.

Shae Archer, proud “Boi” and going against all gender stereotypes, acted as the wedding’s Event Designer, this time of course, to her most important client, her parnter, Aliya. Shae took charge of details such as locating suppliers of wholesale and unique items, selecting fabrics, and hand lettering all writing. Aliya acted as Event Coordinator, making sure vendors had all important information, coordinating dates, and payments. The last few months before the wedding, the couple came together to assemble, paint, cut, and tie pretty much everything in the wedding. In this way, the couple managed to create a very personal and fully custom wedding showcasing their tastes and personalities.

Aliya’s attire was inspired by her Middle Eastern and Hispanic heritage. In fact, her veil was custom made to look like a Spanish mantilla, mirroring a photograph she saw of her grandmother when she was young. Her bridal party attire was collectively decided on by her and her girls. Though the dresses provided uniformity, each girl was able to wear it in a way that suited her personality. The dresses fit and flattered all body types, which was the determining factor for Aliya; a huge advocate for feeling beautiful and powerful in one’s own skin. Aliya’s “garden fairies” or flower girls wore wings and donned wands, baskets and hair clips of flowers, tulle and ribbon hand-crafted by Aliya.

Shae’s and her groomsboiz’ attire reflect her love of the sleek simplicity of military styles. Shae was ecstatic to find the military style jacket she was seeking in production by transmasculine clothing line, Haute Butch. Shae didn’t want her boiz, which included both women and cis-men,  to have to buy clothes they wouldn’t wear again or rent ill-fitting tuxedos. Instead Shae had them wear pants, shoes, belts, and ties they already owned, and together, they purchased matching MK2 shirts from Express. Shae gifted them matching skull socks and a silver skull tie-pin to include in their attire.

Shae Archer and Aliya Valentine carefully documented each step of the wedding and hope to publish a blog in the near future to help other same sex couples navigate their way through the wedding process.

Currently, Aliya Valentine is working on opening online boutique, Femmeland (www.femmeland.com) and Shae Archer working as Visual Designer for Melrose Shop, Yonada (www.yonada26.com). You can follow Aliya and Shae on Facebook or through their blogs www.nous-les-femmes.blogspot.com and www.boimeetsplay.com.

Shae Archer’s Wedding Attire
Military Jacket by Haute Butch
Striped Military Shirt by Express
Black Tie by Express
Skull Tie Pin by JCrew
Photographer Pants by Express
Boots by Diesel

Aliya Valentine’s Wedding Attire
Wedding Dress by Sue Wong
Custom Veil by Adorned
Swarovski Bridal Tiara- Online Boutique
Earrings by Kate Spade
Shoes by Aldo

Vendors
Flowers: Primal Flower
Photographer: Beyond Artistic
Videographer: Jose Luis Hugo
Catering: Barcelona On the Go
Officiator: Cole B. Cole, The Brown Boi Project

This is our third post in dapperQ’s Wedding Week, where we feature dapper weddings and answer all of your burning wedding questions.
 
Featured image: L.K. Weiss of Jack Tar 207 wearing a Saint Harridan suit

A reader asks:

“Any thoughts on where to get a suit for a 5ft, size 4/6 butch? I have a wedding and am at a loss.”

This question will be tough to answer for three reasons: (1) I don’t know much about your personal style. Are you more Ellen DeGeneres or Casey Legler? Classic American preppy or modern Euro chic? (2) I don’t know much about the wedding. Is it indoor? Outdoor? Black-tie formal? Country casual? (3) I don’t know your measurements. Not all 5 ft. tall, size 4/6 butches are built alike. Some are curvy. Others are athletic. And still others are beanpole shaped.

Saint Harridan suits

Fourteen suits

Duchess suits

Megan Dougherty (left) and Jack Elliot (right, dapperQ He Said/We Said model).

Katie Abbott in Men’s Wearhouse suit

Butch Clothing Company suits

Topman suit

This is our fifth post in dapperQ’s Wedding Week, where we feature dapper weddings and answer all of your burning wedding questions.

A reader asks:

“Where can I find a wedding suit for the curvier butch? I am getting married and have no plans on dieting just so I can look like a totally different person for one day!”

First, check out our store guide, which lists quite a few queer owned and operated and/or queer friendly vendors that offer suits specifically for dapperQs. Saint Harridan, Fourteen, Duchess, Butch Clothing Co., Bindle & Keep, and Kipper Clothiers are just a sample of retailers that made the list. Many of them offer bespoke (custom made) and ready-to-wear (off the rack) suits made to fit a variety of body types. Here are some examples of what you’ll find:

A ready-to-wear Saint Harridan suit

Ready-to-wear suits by Fourteen

Bespoke suit by Butch Clothing Co.

You can also peruse our Weddings section, as well as the wedding blog A Bicycle Built for Two, to see what other curvy dapperQs have shared with our readers. For example:

Angela Beal wore a made-to-measure suit from My Suit NY.Photo by Raymonda Doncev

Katie Abbott (pictured on right) wore a Pronto Uomo suit from Men’s Wearhouse

Sarah and Mellina both wore ready-to-wear Hugo Boss suits from Nordstrom that they got tailored. Photo by Hannah Ludlow

Suits from Men’s Wearhouse.  Photo by Miki Vargas Photography

Lauren (pictured on right) pieced together a suit from J-Crew. Photo by Hunsburger

AnnMarie wore a tailored vintage suit from the Etsy shop, BrightWall. Image via Qwear

This is our sixth post in dapperQ’s Wedding Week, where we feature dapper weddings and answer all of your burning wedding questions. Today, we are featuring the dapper wedding of Katie and Ilana. Katie shared her experience finding the perfect wedding suit with dapperQ.

*Feature written by Katie Kein. Photos by Robert Kaussner Photography

A few words about my partner, Ilana, and me: Ilana and I live outside DC in Rockville, MD, where she is a social worker in child protective services and I am a Doctoral student in American Studies at George Washington University. We met about 6 years ago when we both worked at Americans United for Separation of Church and State in DC. We got married July 6th this past summer on an Inn/Farm right outside Ithaca, New York. We wrote the ceremony ourselves in order to incorporate our values of community, family, and partnership along with our interpretations/variations of some Jewish wedding traditions, and it was performed by a cousin and a close friend. Beyond that, our top priorities were the booze and the food!

Leading up to the wedding, what I was going to wear and where I would find it was a pretty big source of anxiety. I knew I wanted a grey suit with a vest for our outdoor wedding, and one that resembled a men’s style suit, but that fit well. (Because I am pretty tall with broad shoulders, men’s suits often fit OK without alterations, but fitting a vest has always been very difficult). While I wear exclusively men’s clothing normally, I was less comfortable shopping in the suit section of a department store where most of the sales people tend to be older men and it can be hard to find someone who understands what you want, let alone why you’re there.

We had searched some blogs and articles to find advice from others who have been in this same position, which led us to a few shops and websites, many of which were out of our price range–we were willing to splurge for our wedding, but were still operating on a relatively tight budget and I was unwilling to spend beyond what seemed reasonable.

We visited an Italian shop in Alexandria, Virginia called Dash’s, which we had found on blogs as being friendly to making men’s suits for women. The man who owns the shop was amazingly accommodating and comfortable, which we appreciated, but I didn’t feel like I was ending up with quite what I was looking for. (But he had some amazing blazers so we’d go back in the future!) It wasn’t until we found My Suit NY online, and had the good luck of being helped by Ian Rios (a My Suit clothier), that I felt like I would end up with something I was excited to wear that day, not just OK with. I had never worked with someone who listened to and understood that well how I wanted it to fit, and it turned out just how I pictured it.

At My Suit, you get to pick every accent and detail–from lining, piping, and monogram, to the angle of buttonholes and felt under the collar–which is really fun and gives you a finished product that is truly yours. I totally didn’t buy into weird, romanticized notions about what you wear for your wedding (think: “Say Yes to the Dress”), but I ended up with a suit and overall experience that felt really special, which was a surprise!

My Suit New York Stats
Ian Rios
My Suit NY — Wall St (30 Broad St, NY, NY)
646-556-7430
irios@mysuitny.com

This is our seventh and final post in dapperQ’s Wedding Week, where we feature dapper weddings and answer all of your burning wedding questions. Today, we are featuring the dapper wedding of Christina and G. Christina shared with us a bit about their love story, as well as where they got those dashing wedding ensembles.

*Feature by Christina Gomez. Photos by Miki Vargas Photography, except where noted otherwise.

Photo by Miki Vargas Photography

G and I met at the closing karaoke party at the Butch Voices conference in Oakland, CA in 2009. I had volunteered with the conference over the weekend. We started chit chatting in between singing and dancing, and at the end, G gave me his phone number. I was too shy to call, so I sent him a Facebook friend request instead! (How lame!) We connected anyway though, and G came to Oakland the following weekend to go to the “Sistah’s Steppin in Pride” event in Oakland with me. We’ve been together ever since.

Photo by Miki Vargas Photography

We were engaged after dating/living together for about 18 months. We had an 18 month engagement, so we were together for about 3 years before we got married. We also got legally married after DOMA and Prop 8 was overturned. We did a “quicky” civil ceremony at the Alameda County Courthouse. We call this our “taxiversary.”

Photo by Miki Vargas Photography

For our wedding, we wanted to balance our vision of a beautiful, outdoor wedding, but with the casual, party atmosphere we wanted. We got married at the Martin Luther King Shoreline Center in Oakland.

Photo by Miki Vargas Photography

My dress was from Mori Lee, Julietta collection, purchased from Trudy’s Bridal in Campbell, CA. My shoes were Badgley Mischka, purchased from Nordstrom. I decided not to wear a veil, and wore a feather, blingy hair fastener instead.

Photo by Miki Vargas Photography

Photo by Miki Vargas Photography

The suits were from Men’s Wearhouse.  G’s suit was a Jones New York suit that we purchased and had tailored to fit perfectly.  The other suits were Calvin Klein rentals, also from Men’s Wearhouse.  The alterations were done there as well. (A good seamstress makes ALL the difference!)

Photo by Miki Vargas Photography

Photo by Miki Vargas Photography

We currently live in Oakland, CA with our four huge dogs, and two cats.

Kipper Clothiers recently made our store guide, which features designers, brands, and collections that are producing clothing to fit dapperQ bodies. And, they made the list for good reason. Based out of San Francisco, Kipper Clothiers is committed the production of high-quality, well-fitting custom suits and shirts with a masculine silhouette for the Bay Area LGBTQ community. Their standout products include wedding attire, formal wear, and business suits that are form-fitting, with armholes that are raised, and pants constructed to provide a cleaner line from the waist to the ankle.

Now, in honor of the repeal of Proposition 8, Kipper Clothiers is offering a reserved number of free fittings and custom shirts, suits, and tuxedos at wholesale cost to lesbian, gay, and/or transmasculine soonly weds. The Kipper Commitment Package is available through December 31st, 2013. Here’s a sample of some of their incredible work captured in a recent wedding shoot:

Visit www.kipperclothiers.com for price and purchasing information.

New York City attorney, Rebekah Burford, was recently wed to wife Lydia Guterman and the event was a very dapper one indeed. So, I got the scoop directly from Rebekah on the love story and outfits that made the day so spectacular:

Story:
Lydia and I have been together for 9 years and got married on September 21, 2013. We met in college at University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill but did not date. When she graduated she moved to San Francisco and a year later I moved to NYC. Not long after I moved here we started dating long distance and did so for a year before she moved to NYC to go to grad school at Columbia. I proposed in June 2012 in the rose garden at Lyndhurst Mansion.

Wedding:
We had a small ceremony on the roof of Hotel Giraffe in Gramercy and a larger reception at New Museum.

Clothing:
I am very particular about fit and personal details so I knew that I would be getting my wedding suiting made. I used
Enzo Custom Clothiers because I liked their classic styling with slimmer silhouettes. For the ceremony I wore a black tuxedo with peak satin lapels. I chose a shirt with a winged collar and plain white shirt studs and cufflinks. For the reception, I chose to stick with black tuxedo pants but I changed to a deep purple jacket with black satin shawl collar. For this look, I decided to skip the pocket square and go for a brooch instead. I also changed to a laydown collared shirt with black shirt studs/cufflinks. I wore the same studded Stuart Weitzman shoes all day. Also, Lydia wore a gown by Jenny Packham and shoes by Kate Spade.